Why are we so Angry?

 

I’ve spent a lot of time recently reflecting on the character and the energy this society carries. I started to detach from the news cycles and the overwhelming rhetoric on Facebook. I had to do this because every story and every post carried with it a lick of hate or a bundle of anger. Everyone these days feels a need to express everything they are angry about.

This got me thinking. Why are we so angry? Why do we have so much hate? To answer these questions, I looked inside. I did no research and I found no medical links. This is all me. I simply reflected on my experiences and my connections with people.

Up front, know that these thoughts are in no form a judgment. They are not here to say people are wrong or right for their feelings of anger and hate. That one side or one view point is better or worse. Instead, these thoughts are meant to be the pool stick to get your ball rolling. To help you to understand why you harbor feelings of anger and hate and how to rid them.

Anger: Anger comes in two forms.

  1. Anger is only a reflection of fear. We are angry because we are fearful. 

Why are people so angry that we can legally bear arms? Because they fear what guns can do in the hands of the wrong people. They are afraid of the next news story about a kindergarten class.

Why are you so angry at a driver on the road that cut you off? Because you were afraid and you are afraid of what that driver could do.

Why are people so angry that the environment is suffering at the hands of convenience, accessibility, and cost? Because they fear the effects a poor environment has on their bodies, their children’s bodies, and their future.

Why are you so angry that Donald Trump is President? Because you fear the impact his decisions might have on your life and on this country.

2. Anger is your guard to cover up hurt 

Why are you so angry at someone who offends you? You aren’t. You are hurt and you are expressing your hurt through anger. We have been taught to stand strong and not show emotions because that is weak. For some reason though, anger is not considered a weak emotion. So when we are offended by someone’s despicable or misinformed comments we don’t express the emotions we are really feeling, we express anger. We don’t cry, we scream! We don’t say “hey that was offensive and hurt my feelings” we resent them and then start to say offensive comments to describe them.

We have made a habit in this society to not express emotion so in turn, we have confused our own feelings. This is why people sometimes call their “control issues” LOVE. They say that they are in a relationship because they are in love when really they are in a relationship because they want to have control. Either control over their own life or control over the other person. Maybe they feel in control in the bad relationship because it is comfortable to them. What would they do without it? Or maybe they don’t care so much to be with the person they are with, they just couldn’t stand to see them with someone else. This is the classic example of how we confuse our own feelings. This happens because we do not spend enough time in reflection of ourself and spend too much time trying to be what is normal or expected.

In the end, this guard is only fear. So it all circles back. Anger is simply an expression of fear. Fear of others, fear of ourselves, fear of our feelings.

Hate: Hate is twofold. Hate is a reflection of fear and self-loathing.

Why do people hate other people for being different? Because they fear the differences in other people. This is a direct reflection of that person’s own self-loathing. They fear that “minority” might take their job or their admission to that ivy league school. When in reality, they question their own ability to get that job, keep that job, or secure that spot. They are insecure in their worth.

Why do you hate your ex? Because you fear having to experience the pain they caused you ever again. Because deep inside you know that the pain they caused you was avoidable. You are mad at yourself for not leaving earlier, not stepping up for yourself, not valuing yourself, not putting your feet down and walking away when you “should have saw it coming.”

Why do people hate diets? Because they are afraid to let go of what they are already doing. They do not know how to part with the junk food that fills the cupboards and the 10-minute lunch routine to Chick Fil A that works with their schedule. Because they do not trust themselves to return results. They are reminded of all the past diets where they failed themselves.

How to get rid of Anger and Hate: Easy.

Take Control, Take Responsibility, Trust Yourself, Value Yourself

If Anger and Hate are simply reflections of fear and self-loathing this means they are merely expressions of doubt. Doubt in others and doubt in ourselves.

To rid yourself of Anger you have to lose the doubt you have in other people. Do this by taking control of your own life. We have this twisted belief that we must continue to be angry and doubt other people.

In some ways, we are fearful to stop being fearful. We feel like if we aren’t angry than the bad stuff isn’t going to stop happening. This simply isn’t true. In fact, if we were less angry and more charitable there would be a better chance that bad stuff might stop happening. No matter how angry you are at the mentally ill person who picks up a gun and shoots an innocent man, woman, or child your anger is not going to stop that event from happening. Your fear that it can happen again is not going to go away just because you stay angry and you post about your anger on Facebook.

No matter how angry you are at the mentally ill person who picks up a gun and shoots an innocent man, woman, or child your anger is not going to stop that event from happening. Your fear that it could happen again is not going to go away just because you stay angry and you post about your anger on Facebook.

We craft law after law and give speech after speech about these atrocities but it doesn’t change the fact that there are people in this world who do not abide by the laws and who do not view these events as tragedies.

That is scary.  But fear of those people, those car accidents, those pesticides, those “politicians” is not going to make things better. It is going to make things ANGRIER. I mean Holy Sh*t, could we get any angrier in America right now? Good Grief!

We might all turn red! (that might fix a different problem 😉 – we’d all be the same color!)

You know what will work. Taking control of your anger. Really, taking control of your fear. What are you afraid of right now that is making you angry? Is it guns, is it driving, is it politics, is it the future. STOP! Stop being afraid. Trust yourself and take control of what you have control over. Don’t buy the gun, don’t speed, don’t drink and drive, don’t drink the kool-aid. Whatever it is, just take control of that fear.

We cannot live our lives in fear of other people. We cannot live our lives worrying about if we can trust the stranger around the corner or in the car next to us. We can trust ourselves. We can control ourselves. We can encourage others to do the same. We don’t have to yell about it, cuss about it, scream about, get red in the face about. We can simply pass on the message to let go of fear and in turn let go of anger. We can ask other people to do this and not judge them if their fear is different than ours.

For example, if the person your talk with is afraid to have guns outlawed because they are afraid they won’t be able to protect themselves without a weapon. Do not judge them, do not get angry with them. Encourage them to find a way to remove that fear. If you can do this, you have removed your own fear.  You have found security in yourself and trust that you are controlling your own life, not other people.

To Rid Yourself of Hate. You must first stop hating yourself. Forgive yourself. Accept your mistakes and your past as lessons and move on from them. Get over your insecurities and start to love and trust your abilities.

No matter how different other people are they deserve respect. They deserve to be valued. They deserve to be loved. They deserve to be heard. They deserve a chance.

Do not express hatred towards someone who is different simply because you are afraid of their differences. You are afraid of what they can offer that you cannot. A common way we express hate towards people who are different than us is by boasting ourselves up.

We talk about the many things that we offer that they don’t, the can’t. We are looking for reassurance. We are seeking affirmation that we are better. We are different in the good way! Isn’t that silly? We are all different but only some of us are different in the good way? That is ridiculous.

We are all different. We are all different in good ways. Difference inherently brings with it value. The only determination that has to be made is where that difference is most valued. Some peoples different is needed in the law, some peoples different is needed in the medical field, some peoples different is needed in the arts. There is a place for everyone’s differences. There is a need for difference.

We have to respect difference, we have to learn from differences. We have to realize that the person who is different than us might really be more valuable to that job or that school but only because your different is needed or destined at another job or school. Our differences pave our paths but at the end of the path we all end up together. We all operate to create a world together. We can only live in a healthy and happy world if we respect and value one another for our similarities and our differences.

There is nothing to hate about someone else unless you are hating something inside yourself. If you love yourself totally, 100%, head to toe, failures and successes, past, present, and future there is no reason to hate. There is no fear that someone is different in the good way or someone is different in the bad way. There is only differences that you respect and you learn from. The differences that got you to where you are today. Don’t ever forget that this world is not just about you. This world is operating on the differences we all have and the value that brings.

Stop hating other people, other races, other genders, other HUMANS! Stop hating your ex, stop hating the girl he cheated on you with or the guy she left you for. Stop hating the diet you failed at or the fitness model you’ll never be. Stop hating it all by loving and accepting yourself. We only hate when we fear and when we self-loathe. We cannot hate when we trust, when we embrace and when we value.

Take control. Love and protect yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fri-Yay Breakfast Smoothie with Homemade Protein Powder

Yum, yum, yum! I love a good treat for breakfast on a Friday and my new breakfast smoothie is the perfect way to treat your taste buds and your body!

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Homemade Protein Powder:

This protein powder is my favorite! It is so rich and does not taste artificial! EVEN BETTER: It made all of that protein powder that you see in those two glass jars on the counter. That will last me for a couple of months at least!

To make my homemade protein powder I gathered all of these products and blended them all together:

  • 1 bag of Chia Seeds 
  • 1 bag of Flaxseeds 
  • 1 bag of Hemp Seeds 
  • 1 pack of pumpkin seeds 
  • 1 pack of sunflower seeds 
  • Old Fashioned Oats 
  • A few dashes of cinnamon 

FRI-YAY Breakfast Smoothie Recipe 

  • 2 scoops of Homemade Protein Powder 
  • 1/2 of an avocado (do not drink an avocado smoothie on days that you have this smoothie) 
  • 1 handful of blueberries 
  • 1 handful of mango cubes
  • 1/2 of a banana 
  • 2 large handfuls of spinach 
  • 1 scoop of Spirulina 
  • 1 scoop of Collagen Protein 
  • 1 cup of organic soymilk 

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An Active Listening Point of View

“The yogi understands the faults of others by seeing and studying them first in himself.”

I once had a girl tell me that my thoughts came from a privileged point of view. Now, I don’t blame her for that and really I can see where she came from. Because she didn’t know me, she thought she knew me. We tend to do this right? When we don’t know people we conclude who they are by looking at a few pictures, browsing a few posts, or disagreeing with their beliefs.

When we disagree with people our tendency is not to understand why they think the way they do. This is because when we do this we are really choosing to learn more about why we believe they way we do. You can only understand your own beliefs if you can understand why someone else believes differently.

So instead, we jump to the conclusion that they think differently than us because they fail to see what we see. This is not necessarily true though. I might see exactly what you see but perceive it differently. In fact, I might come from a privileged life just like you but we still have very different beliefs. Or, I might come from privilege and you might come from poverty and we have very similar beliefs. What is most important is to understand why.

It’s very easy to judge someone by what we see on the surface. What isn’t easy is to get to know someone, to understand them, and to converse with them. Converse about your disagreements, beliefs, morals, values, and the most awful – politics. When I say converse I mean to engage with each other in a respectful manner.  To listen to one another, to engage a dialogue, to learn! Not to argue, criticize, or judge. Sometimes, this is not fun or easy but it is necessary. This is what I have always done and this is why although I am “privileged” to some I do not have a privileged point of view. I have an active listening point of view. Now, what does that mean?

It means I engage, I read, I listen, I actively try to understand the people who grew up differently than me, who believe differently than me, and who faced obstacles I did not face. When I talk with them I try not to cast judgment because I won’t learn anything that way. Have I done this before? Yea! Have I gotten into heated debates with people instead of understanding why we were disagreeing? Yea! It wasn’t worth it. I didn’t feel satisfied at the end even if I felt “right.” Have you ever had this feeling?

So from now on, take the time to understand both sides of a story, a court opinion, or a news interview. I do this and I think about it. I am friends with people who are different than me because they help me. I learn from them and I respect these people, their opinions, their story, their journey. Sometimes what I learn changes my point of view and other times it simply doesn’t. But, I still walk away with a new understanding and I always learn something about myself!

The one person I really learned this from is my father. The man who raised me with a “privileged” life was never privileged. He faced the hardest of obstacles and overcame them. He taught me that nothing is ever given, it is earned. He taught me to never take my privilege and ride it as a point of view.

Instead, my Dad taught me the reasons he thinks the way he does but he gave me the opportunity to go learn otherwise. He taught me to engage others and to constantly seek out an opportunity to learn more. As a result, my Dad and I have come to disagree on a lot of things. This is important though because my Dad never forced me to believe what he believes. I think he respects that I can learn things on my own and find reasons to believe what is right for me. It reminds him of his own journey. My Dad and I engage in conversation a lot about politics, health, and life in general. We disagree a lot but after discussion, I always learn and I always question what I believe. I really think about what I believe and why. That is what I love about active listening. It encourages self-reflection and self-study.

At this point in life, my Dad is very firm in his beliefs whereas I am still in the process of learning what I truly believe. So many people are in this phase of self-reflection and growth. This process is hindered when we are fearful or ashamed to grow and to really reflect on our inner self. Society has a way of hindering this process too. When we change our mind or open our mind to something new we are often criticized for it. We are questioned.

We all want the motto “the past is the past” to apply to us but in return, we do not to apply it to others. We are hypocritical in this way all the time. We want others to afford us the benefit of the doubt but don’t give the same in return. Take some time to reflect on this and in the future allow your mind to be calmed knowing that the past IS the past. More importantly, allow others to feel that from you. If they tell you they have changed give them the benefit of believing that, accepting that, or respecting that change. Maybe you can learn from them.

We cannot move on, we cannot grow, and we cannot change if we dwell on old thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I truly feel like some people hesitate to change because they are afraid that people might not believe they have changed. That should not matter and change should be welcomed with open arms. Even if the change you desire is not welcomed you should make the change if it is right for you, right for your future, and right for your journey.

The first step to experience change and growth in yourself is to reflect on who you are and what you believe in. Continue this process of self-reflection by learning from other people and you will learn about yourself.

self-reflection

Spotlight Series – Dr. Matthew Murrin: The Benefits of Chiropractic Care and Why You NEED It In Your Life!

“Medicine is the study of disease and what causes a man to die. Chiropractic is the study of health and what causes a man to live.” B.J. Palmer 

As part of this blog, I am going to make a point to seek out experts in different fields of health and wellness. I am by no means an expert no matter how much I research, read, watch, or listen to and I can not give anyone medical advice. So, take my advice at face value but know that I am going to put in the work to try to find out all of the details! This is my first Spotlight Series and I could not have chosen a better person to interview.

Who is Dr. Matthew Murrin? 

Dr. Matthew Murrin is a Chiropractor in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. He is a native of Newfoundland, Canada. Dr. Murrin graduated from the University of New Brunswick with a Bachelors of Science in Kinesiology, where he also served as a professor in exercise physiology while pursuing a Master’s degree. He is a Magna Cum Laude graduate of Palmer Chiropractic College in Davenport, Iowa. Dr. Murrin has been practicing for ten years and is the first wellness professional in Mount Pleasant certified in Active Release Technique (ART), a treatment that accelerates the patient’s recovery from a myriad of biomechanical injuries.

Dr. Murrin is very athletic and his path to becoming a Chiropractor actually began with an athletic injury he suffered. Dr. Murrin is very passionate about his work and well versed with the care of athletes. He has worked with NFL teams, UFC fighters, and Olympic gymnasts.

If I were to attempt to list all of the honors, certifications, and awards Dr. Murrin has received I think you might stop reading because the post would be too long. Trust me when I say that Dr. Murrin is simply the best!

What is Chiropractic Care? 

A lot of people have a hesitation or a distrust in using chiropractic care. I honestly believe it is because Chiropractic care is so simple people don’t trust that it works.

All chiropractic care consists of is adjusting the body and the spine to the right position. This allows the nerves to get the optimal amount of blood flow and oxygen they need. When your nerves are compressed or pinched they do not function at 100% and your body shows symptoms in many different ways. We mistake these symptoms as other illnesses and sicknesses and bandage them with a pill. Instead, chiropractic care might be your best alternative. Dr. Murrin says “it is finding the root cause of your symptoms and correcting that.”

I asked Dr. Murrin some very straight forward questions to help you better understand the benefits and the process of Chiropractic Care: 

What are the general benefits of Chiropractic Care? 

“The most basic and general benefits of Chiropractic care are relief from back, neck, and shoulder pain. In turn, Chiropractic care aids tension headaches, migraines, allergies, and digestion as well. People often see improvement in their sleep and energy fairly quickly after beginning chiropractic treatments.”

What are some specific benefits of Chiropractic Care that people would not think of?  

Anxiety and Stress – “When you have an increase in stress you also have an increase in cortisol levels. The more stressed out you are the more cortisol your body will release. Chiropractic care decreases cortisol levels and as a result, many people see a decrease in stress and anxiety.

This decrease may happen very quickly for some people but for others who continue to be exposed to stressors, the results will come with a little more time. However, with every treatment cortisol levels continue to decrease and you will feel better. Keep in mind that high cortisol levels also cause weight gain, decrease in sleep, decrease in bone density, and increase in muscle tension. With continued care, chiropractic will help with all of these symptoms.”

Weight loss – Entirely connected to stress and cortisol levels is weight gain. When you have an increase in cortisol levels your body is in a state of fight or flight. Therefore, it begins to store fat for insulation, energy, or to feed off of. I see a lot of people who tell me that they just can’t seem to lose that last 5 or 10 pounds no matter how hard they train. Almost every time, the body is hanging on to that extra fat because of stress. When you are stressed out about the weight loss and you overtrain your body cortisol continues to increase and you will continue to hold on to the fat because of stress. There has to be a balance in the body. You cannot just train you must also take care of the inner function of the body too.”

Agility, Stability, and Speed – There is a reason that Olympic and professional athletes are using chiropractic care often. When I worked with professional teams we saw improvement in the players run time, jump distance, and even their agility and stability.  The reason for this is because there is an increase in nerve flow to the muscle. The nerve is the brain of the muscle and it is telling it what to do faster when the nerve flow is at an optimal level.

Breathing – The reason that Chiropractic care can help athletes or even an ordinary person with breathing is that it helps increase oxygen to the lungs. The nerve flow to the lungs is greater and as a result, your VO2 goes up. VO2 is the amount of oxygen your body can take in, store, and use. When your nerve flow is at 100% your VO2 goes up and your lungs get and use more oxygen.

Keep in mind that if there is only the weight of a dime compressing a nerve 2/3 of the signal in that nerve is decreased!

The list below is related to the compression of specific nerves and when that compression is released Chiropractic care can improve or even eliminate the symptoms related to: 

  1. PMS
  2. Irritable Bowel Syndrom
  3. Acne 
  4. Libido 
  5. Infertility 
  6. Asthma and respiratory problems 
  7. Rib pain 

Why are people afraid of Chiropractic Care? 

“Well, the first thing that comes to mind when people think of Chiropractic care is cracking, popping, and twisting. They picture a 1970’s style of chiropractic care that looks rough and quite frankly scary. However, there are 22 techniques of chiropractic care and modern care is really quite gentle. More so, the popping and cracking people hear is just a release of gas and nothing to be afraid of. Unlike medicine, I am putting nothing into your body and there are no symptoms! I am simply adjusting the body to be in its optimal place. Now,  you might be a little sore or tender after but that is simply the body healing and getting back to the right place. This goes away quickly!”

What is the first visit like? 

“At the first visit only three things happen:

  1. We sit down and talk. This is the verbal aspect of the appointment where the patient tells me what they are struggling with, where they are having pain, what their symptoms are. I encourage you to be very open with your symptoms because a lot of times people do not realize that Chiropractic can actually help with the pain you are having in your finger and the digestion problems you have been having for months.
  2. Next, we do the physical part of the exam. At this point, you just lie down on the table I feel your spine and your neck and get an idea of what is going on.
  3. Finally, if necessary I take X-rays. With most patients, I do take x-rays because it is the most thorough way for me to see what is going on inside. The X ray is very simple and takes only a minute.

That is it! There is no adjustment done that day because I want to take the time to study the x-rays, the symptoms, and then conclude if I can help you. If I can you come in for your follow up appointment and we get you on your individualized care plan. If I think your symptoms are best treated with something else I will refer you out. Every one is different and there is no generalized care.

 

SOOOOOOO, there you have it! What do you have to lose? Please go sit down with Dr. Murrin and just see if he can help you. He is almost always the first person I turn to when I have an ache, a pain, or even sinuses and anxiety. He has to be the kindest and happiest person I have ever met. If nothing else that kindness and happiness rubs off on you and you will leave the office in a great mood!

Check out some more information or give the office a call:

chiropracticusasc.com

843-881-0046

pic for chiro blog

 

 

 

What is Avocado Pudding and Why I Eat It Everyday

Kourtney Kardashian’s Avocado Pudding recipe is AH MAZING. I have added a few little tweaks to my version but it is nearly the same.

I eat avocado pudding every day around 3 or 3:30 when I get that late afternoon hunger. It is a great and healthy alternative to grabbing a bag of chips, crackers, or even a protein bar (cough cough a snickers bar really). It is super filling and the perfect balance of sweet, creamy, and healthy fat.

Avocado Pudding – My version is more like a smoothie because I prefer to drink it and I prefer that to have it very cold

1 full avocado -half it, pull out the center pit, and peel it 

1 cup of organic coconut milk (you can use almond milk if you prefer but I recommend using coconut milk to make it creamy – the coconut taste is not powerful at all) 

1 tbsp of honey (or agave) 

Optional – 1 tbsp of MCT oil/Brain Octane Oil (Disclaimer: this can upset your stomach for a little bit when you are getting used to it- it went away after like two weeks for me) 

10-12 ice cubes 

BLEND and Voila! It’s just like a green milkshake

*** On days that I do not have my breakfast smoothie I add spirulina and collagen protein to mine – it does not change the taste at all 

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